With so many groups devoted to the history of sports car classics like the Mustang and the Camaro and the Maverick, a sturdy built car that doesn’t bother with silky curves might just get lost in the mix.
And unfortunately that’s been the fate of the Buick Riviera.
Yes, the Buick Riviera. With corners you could set your old-timey pocket watch to. It may have a V8. And it may have wood paneled interior.
But nothing says “I like to go to bed by 8:30 post meridian” like the Buick Riviera!
Here’s a typical conversation between a Buick Riviera and its owner:
Very Old Man: “Hey,pal! What do you say we go for a spin around town?”
Buick Riveria: “I don’t know… Do you think your pants are pulled up high enough?”
VOM: “You’re darned tootin’! That belly’s all tucked in and ready to go!”
BR: “But do you have your seat pillow with you, so you can hunch over my steering wheel?”
VOM: “I’ve got two! I’ll be nuzzling your windshield.”
BR: “Well, OK. Let’s go!”
VOM falls asleep.
VOM wakes up, disoriented: “Oh what’s that? Apple sauce? Never touch the stuff!… Oh, hey Riveria! Are we going on a drive or what, ya wiffle-waffler!”
BR: “I guess. Did you remember to bring your cane with the metal duck head on top?”
And so on and so forthio.
But sadly, the Riviera is a thing of the past. No more can a 90 year old man go to his local Pontiac/Buick dealer and purchase his new dream car.
But wait! Could it be? Could there be a new Riviera coming? As good as the original? As sharp and straight laced?